Once retired, reality set it. I have not disciplined myself to write in the mornings, and paint in the afternoon. Excuses range from "I'm not ready yet" to "I'll start that next week," even though I realize that I may not have next week. Since I have retired, I have completed several drawings, and a single painting. The painting is okay, and it was done from a photo I took in Bayeux, France when we were there last year, but it is overly detailed, and I can't say I really like it enough to have it framed for selling.
Such is reality. We think one thing when we cannot do what we think about, but when given the time, how many of us actually do what we thought about? I guess this is where the word "passion" plays into our lives. I used to wonder why my sons, all gifted with really great ability in art, never did anything with it.
Our one son is now a chef. He is great at drawing cartoons. I have mentioned several times that there is no cartoon that I know of that involves a chef working in a restaurant, so why doesn't he apply his artistic ability into creating one? Now that I have the time to do what I want, but haven't, I've come to understand that in order to do things, and stick with it, one has to have a passion for it. I guess he just isn't as passionate about a comic strip about chefs as I am about having him do one. I need only to look at myself to see where his lack of drawing passion comes from.
Another son used to draw a lot when he was younger, but except for a few designs he has drawn, he has spent his time devoted to being a great policeman. He now has reached the point where he is instructing others to be good policemen.
Our third, and last son, received his degree in art from VCU. We have one of his amazing brush and ink paintings hanging in our living room. He did no preliminary drawing with this work, simply used a brush, and ink. Had I done anything like that there would be imprints of whiteout everywhere from the mistakes I made. But, even with his ability, and love of art, he prefers to run his comic store, immersing himself into the art and business of comics. He is hoping to be able to teach at VCU one day, if not as a professor, than as a person they refer to as an adjunct something-or-other.
I was never really one who tried to pressure any of our sons to do anything other than what they wanted to do. Their lives are not mine to live. The good part of all this is that they are doing what they want, and seem to be passionate about what they are doing. Passion is definitely something I did not have in my career, such as it was, in the world of IT. There were many days when I went to work where I had this desire to lift my terminal or laptop over my head and throw the thing through the window. But, having responsibilities, I did not do it. Oh, there were times I actually did enjoy it, but those were few and far between. Not only that, but after being in the field for several decades it was just doing the same thing over and over and over. The objective never really changed. Languages changed, terminology changed, but the fact remained - you have input, you process it to get a result, and the result is output. Simple. And boring. Except for learning, writing different stories, and creating art, all jobs are repetitive. I respect those who do have a passion about something and wish I had been able to have spent the greater part of my life being passionate about something as well.
Well, perhaps I will now start looking into actually doing what I keep saying I enjoy. I really do enjoy drawing and painting. I enjoy writing, and am writing, which is good. I need to reassess my wants, and establish some sort of schedule that will not allow me to make excuses for not doing things. I have a wealth of photos of people I want to draw. I only need to get off my ass, at least long enough to set it down at my table, and get busy! Unfortunately, it will have to be next week. Today is shopping day - grocery, Christmas, etc., etc., and later, over to a friends house for the evening...
